Anything Nick can do, Ali does better
by PwnMaster1999
Summary: A songfic about Nick's relationship with my OC, Ali. For more information on Characters Ali, Paige, Tina & Yuki please read Mine and ChillzDevine's story Unexpected Teammates.


**Hi all! New story, woo! I know, I know. I haven't got many stories to call my own because pretty much all of mine are collabs that are posted by my partners. So meh.**

**Disclaimer: Me no own L4D or L4D2. Wish I did though.**

* * *

"Hah! That's another charger that I'VE killed. Try to keep up, sugar."

Ali growled with slight annoyance. True, she liked Nick, but he was still an ass.

"Yeah? Well I got the last seven boomers, so top that Nicky."

Nick shot Ali a fierce glare at the nickname.

"Fuck you, Ali. Just face it, I'm better than you!"

Ali sneered, then smirked as she had an idea.

"Really? Well..."

Rochelle glanced at the arguing pair and seeing the girl's grin, shook her head and went to find Coach.

"...Anything you can do, I can do better-"

"Hah!"

"-I can do anything better than you!"

"No, you can't."

"Yes I can."

"No, you can't."

"Yea I can!"

"No, you can't!"

"Yes, I can, yes, I can!"

Coach looked at the bickering/singing duo and facepalmed. Rochelle just sighed and lodged her axe in the skull of a waiting smoker.

"Anything you can be, I can be greater-"

"Pfft."

"-Sooner or later I'm greater than you."

"Heh, no you're not."

"Yes I am."

"No you're not."

"Yes I am."

"No you're not!"

"Yes I am, yes I am!"

Ellis wandered over to a giggling Tina, Yuki and Paige and seeing their current state, decided to break the silence. Francis, Zoey and Louis came around the corner to help out the others, shooting odd looks at Nick and Ali.

"So Paige, Tina... What's up with Ali n' Nick? Last time ah' saw em' they was jus' glarin' at each other."

Tina wiped away an invisible tear of laughter, attempted to regain her usual calm demeanour and shook her head with a smile.

"Don't worry Ell, those two are just arguing, as always. Though they decided to express it this time with song."

"I can shoot a partridge, with a single cartridge-" He sang as he placed a bullet between the eyes of a common infected.

Ali grinned and sang back.

"I can get a sparrow, with a bow n' arrow." Cue zombie falling from roof with an arrow in its neck.

Nick grinned.

"I can live on bread and cheese~"

"And only on that...?" Ali asked innocently.

Nick smirked with pride. "Yep."

Ali smirked and shot back.

"Well, so can a rat!"

"BURN!" yelled Ellis as Nick's Ego visibly deflated. Anyways, he continued.

"Any note you can sing I can sing higher-"

"I can sing any note higher than you!", Ali sang.

"No you can't!"

"Yes I can!"

"No you can't!"

"Yes I caann!"

"No you caann'tt!"

"Yes I caaannnn!"

"No you caannnn'ttt!"

"Yeess I CAAAANNNNNNN!"

Nick was slightly impressed.

"How DO you sing that high...?!"

Ali glared at him with a red face.

"I'm a GIRL, DUMBSHIT!"

"Ah. Ahem, Anything you can say, I can say softer-"

"I can say anything softer than you!"

"no you can't"

"yes I can"

"nycn't"

"ysicn"

"nycn't"

"ysicn"

"nycn't"

"ysIcn, YES I CAAAANNNNN!" Ali yelled at him, teeth bared in frustration.

Francis looked on in amazement. "Are they still goin'? Jesus..."

"I can drink my liquor, faster than a flicker-"

"I can drink it quicker, an' get even sicker..!"

"I can open any safe!" Nick smirked again.

"Without being caught?" Ali questioned, eyebrow raised.

"You bet!"

Apparently this is the answer she wanted.

"Heh, that's what I thought, ya crook!"

Nick's still-small ego deflated a little more at that comment as Francis laughed his ass off.

Sneering, he carried on.

"Any note you can hold, I can hold longer-"

"I can hold any note longer than you!"

"No you can't."

"Yes I can!"

"No you can't!"

"Yes I can!"

"Oh for fuck's sake..." mumbled Louis, folding his face in his hand.

"No you caaann'tt!"

Yes I caaannnn-"

Ali cleared her throat and continued.

Yes IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIII~ Can!"

Everyone stared at her in awe. Even the near wandering witch stopped to look.

Nick sighed.

"Yes you cccaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnn!"

The others looked among themselves in disbelief as Nick went on.

"Anything you can say, I can say faster-"

"I can say anything faster than you!"

"Nycn't"

"YsIcn"

"nc!"

"yc!"

"GET ON WITH IT!" came the yell from Paige as the pair bickered almost silently.

"I can jump a hurdle."

"I can wear a girdle!" (A/N: And may I add, they are frickin' annoying!)

"I can knit a sweater!", Growled Nick, getting all the more irritated every second.

"But I can fill it better!", Sang Ali, sticking her tongue out at the conman.

"I can do most anything!", He boasted loudly.

"Can you bake a pie?", Ali asked slyly.

"No.", He sighed.

"Neither can I..." She joked lightly, trying to humour him.

Nick coughed and began again.

"Anything you can sing, I can sing sweeter-"

"I can sing anything sweeter that you!"

They both paused for a second, then grinned.

"No you... Caaannn'tttt~" Nick sang, flashing a lady-killer smile.

"Yeessss I ca-ah-ah-ah-aannn...!"

"No you caaaaa-**aannn't**."

"Yeesss I caaannnnn...!"

"No you caannn't..."

"Yes I caannn..."

"No you caannn'tt..."

"Oh yes I caaaannn..."

"No you** can't, can't, can't**!"

"Yes I **can**, **can**, **can**!"

And then, to the immense surprise of their teammates, they started singing together.

"No YOOUUUUUUUU CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNN'TTTTTT!"

"Yes IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNN!"

They gasped as they both finished. They both grinned at each other as they fought to catch their breath. Realizing that their banter had continued even as they progressed to a new saferoom from the last, the had to bite their tongues to not burst out laughing.

Francis looked up with a huff.

"Thank God you two are finally finished! What's next, the part where you kiss and make up?

Paige threw a bandage at him while shouting "Don't jinx it!" but all they got were sly, cocky grins from both the conman and Ali.

"Well, if you say so, Greaseball."

And just when their teammates thought life could get any weirder, they all felt dizzy and passed out as they saw the previously arguing duo embrace in a heated kiss.

And as the two pulled apart, Ali grinned at her new partner.

"D'ya think we broke 'em, Nicky?"

Nick could only chuckle at the fact that her nickname for him started the whole banter in the first place.

"Possibly. Maybe. Say, y'wanna go fetch some water from the tunnel, wake 'em up?"

She grinned deviously at his idea.

"Sounds fun, you're thinkin' like me now!"

He smiled, kissed her forehead and took her hand.

And they both walked out into the tunnel ahead.

* * *

**BOOM! That's a wrap! I didn't even have a plotline or anything (probably why it was so shit), I just made it up on the spot. Y'see, this is what happens at 0:07AM when your sleep meds don't work.**


End file.
